NICOLA HORLICK: Colleagues won't stop using dating apps in meetings (2025)

Working life today is full of constantly evolving challenges and pitfalls. When is it OK to date a co-worker? Can you tell your team to get back into the office five days a week?

Whether you're a baffled Boomer, a muddled millennial, or a confused Gen Z-er, our brilliant columnist Nicola Horlick can help.

Dear Nicola,

I've read that Jamie Dimon, boss of the US bank JP Morgan, says 'it's disrespectful andtime-wasting' when people in meetings are reading emails or going through personal texts and notifications.

At my company, a few of my colleagues do this all the time in meetings. Some of them are even scrolling through racy dating sites, or sexting.

As a team leader who's under a lot of pressure, I'd obviously like fewer meetings. But I would be happy if everybody just paid more attention, rather than trying to find a hook-up or booking holidays. How do I raise this with management, without seeming critical of the way things are run at my company?

Because some of my able and intelligent colleagues aren't paying attention, the types who have mad ideas are the loudest voices in meetings and I wonder if it results in some pretty bonkers decisions.

Yours, Eve

Dear Eve,

It drives me crazy when people look at their phones during meetings. I completely agree with Jamie Dimon that it is disrespectful to the other participants.

The only ,exception would be if someone is waiting for a genuinely important call. In that case, they should say at the start of the meeting that they might have to take a call and step out for a few minutes.

You say you are a team leader. In that role, you have every right to make it clear to your colleagues that you would prefer it if they didn't bring their phones to meetings. I don't see why you need to go higher up the organisation for guidance – just take the initiative.

I totally agree that, if important decisions are being made, it is a distraction for people to be looking at their phones. There is no way they can be thinking fully about decisions if they are scrolling through emails and messages.

As for sexting and booking holidays – that is the pinnacle of disrespect. If the rest of the organisation sees that your team has become more cohesive and is making better decisions as a result of the phone ban, maybe other teams will start to adopt the same practice.

I have no doubt that this will ultimately result in better decisions, and earn you respect from your senior managers.

Yours, Nicola

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